Saturday, March 7, 2009
My last moments with her....
It was the most heart breaking situation last
night at Ward 48 when she took her last breath
with us all around her.
I still cant believe that her condition
deteriorate at a fast rate.
Just 4 days ago she was on nasal prone 2L Oxygen
talking to me while she ate her lunch.
She can still laugh though in between conversation
she took a deep breathe.
She was telling me abt her scan in the morning,
how they lie her flat with no oxygen and how
hard it is for her to breath during the scan.
She was asking me whether I get in Poly.
I told her result is not out yet.
On Thursday I came, as I was supposed to learn
how to clean her chest tube dressing from the nurse.
I was supposed to do it for her at home
when she was discharged at a later date.
She was suggested to go to a nursing home as she was
on Oxygen and chest tube but all of us disagreed and
I was appointed to learn to clean her chest tube dressing.
She was already on face mask with 6L oxygen.
Her legs already swollen due to water retention, due to her
fibroid and her lack of protein.
On Friday, I was shocked when I see her on 100% oxygen!!!
I was thinking thats it, I gonna lost my aunt.
She was on morphine to help her to breathe easily
and make her muscle relax.
She can still speak to us and I get to feed her milo.
To see how hard she tried to swallow her drink was the
most heart breaking situation.
Though its hard for her to drink, she still wants it.
She said she's hungry but the only thing she able
to swallow is feeds.
By 0000 hrs she was already unresponsive when we called her.
She was still trying so hard to breathe.
Everyone already sobbing at her bedside.
I cant even bear to see her.
By 0055 hrs when my another aunt done whispering
mengucap dua kalimah syahadah at her ear 3 times
she just stopped breathing.
But we redha with her leaving us.
To see her fight the battle of breast cancer
was the hardest.
I was the one who give her the injections before
her chemo treatment. The one who accompany her
to NCC to learn how to do the injection so
that she need not go to NCC every other day.
I'm glad I able to do my part when she alive.
Just now I watch the moments when they bath her at home.
I finally saw IT.
MasyaAllah, I really cant imagine how she can bear the
pain all these while.
It was really painful even for me who is well to see IT.
Kiss her goodbye on her forehead before she go.
Obek, it wont be the same without you around.
Thank u so much for being my surety for my sponsorship.
I'm only left with 3 more mths bond and u are no longer here.
It was only 3 years ago when u went to SGH with me to sign the bond.
I guess thats when u already have IT but u kept it from all of us.
I din even get the chance to tell u I get into Poly.
Yes obek I get in.
*sigh*
Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat
dan ditempatkan di antara org2 yg solehah.
Amin.
PS: I knew Palliative care and Oncology is my weakest point.
Can never be able to work in those wards.
It will kill me alive.
.:The girl:.
Name: Nurul/Shaz
Nickname: Nuwulpink
Fiancee to Nur Hidayat
NYP Nursing Student
Nickname: Nuwulpink
Fiancee to Nur Hidayat
NYP Nursing Student
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- Lifewatch
- Compressed week
- Another update
- 25 Random things abt me
- Eclipse
- January Events
- For shikin
- Princess of Arabia
- Happy New Year People
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This blog is solely based on my views and opinions. If you disagree, I dun really care. If you hate me, whoever say I will like you. hee~
This blog is solely based on my views and opinions. If you disagree, I dun really care. If you hate me, whoever say I will like you. hee~
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edited/banner by: Nurulshaz